With marital conflicts and divorce being so common in American society, it is critical that couples know the steps to save a marriage. Obviously no one gets married with the intention of getting divorced. You make a commitment, you schedule a service or ceremony, you say your vows, and you intend for your marriage to be forever. That is why it is so heartbreaking, and often shocking, when a couple is faced with a marriage that is on the brink of divorce. We simply aren’t equipped to deal with it, and don’t know the necessary steps to save a marriage.
The following guidelines are paramount to strengthening the marriage. For the couple in crisis, they can be steps to a new beginning:
1. Fight Without Fighting – You can learn to have discussions without turning them into conflicts. Both spouses need to respect the opinions of the other, and give each other time to talk. Personal attacks must be avoided. Most importantly, listen to what the other person is saying and try to see things from their point of view. Much has been written on “fighting fairly”, but it doesn’t have to be a fight at all.
2. Fresh Perspective Each Day – If you and your spouse live each day “one day at a time”, you will begin each day by looking forward and not dwelling on the past. Mistakes that were made yesterday should be forgiven and forgotten.
3. Keep Your Side Of The Street Clean – Finding fault with your spouse will only make things worse. You can only control what you can control and that is yourself. Even if your spouse seems intent on pointing out your faults, do not take the bait and respond in kind.
4. Work On Yourself – Become the best you can be mentally, physically and spiritually. Then, no matter what challenge may come your way, you will be in a resourceful state to handle it. Your spouse will see a strong confident person.
The above outlined steps to save a marriage will put you in a much better position to not only save a marriage in crisis, but strengthen an already strong marriage. Even if your spouse is unwilling or not doing these things, the overall effect of you doing them will create an impact on your relationship and on your life.