My Spouse Wants a Divorce and I Don’t! Can I Do Anything to Stop It?

by R.P. Smith on February 27, 2010

The reality of marriage or any relationship is that none of them are perfect and not all of them last forever. So why do some marriages fail while others succeed? Obviously there are a variety of specific reasons why a marriage can fail, but I think it ultimately boils down to the idea that either one partner or both partners at some point found themselves in an environment that they no longer wanted to be in. If your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t, can you do anything to stop it?

Each of us who are married has a responsibility to our spouse to create and nurture the environment that originally attracted us to one another. When things have reached the point where one partner wants a divorce, the other partner effectively pushes them away be reacting negatively. Reacting negatively could include any number of things, including, crying, begging, anger, promises to change etc. These will almost always have the exact opposite result that was intended.

So can you make someone love you or can you make them stay with you? Ultimately, no, but you can love them enough to calmly respect their decision to move on and give them the space to do it. Amazingly enough, this quite often has the effect of making them want to stay because by doing so you are creating an environment that encourages them to re-examine their decision. The more you push back and cling desperately, the more they will pull away.

This is usually a very difficult and frightening step to take because it seems counter-intuitive to your natural desire to try and hold on to that which is important to you. But it is a very powerful and important first step which gives you the greatest chance to prevent divorce. Now, what do you do next?

You should think long and hard about what it’s going to take to give your marriage a fighting chance, and whether or not you should accept “real” help.

Don’t think that you have to spend a fortune on counseling or even that you must somehow get your spouse on board to help. There’s an approach to saving your marriage from divorce that is totally different than anything you’ve probably ever seen or heard about, and it works whether or not your spouse decides to help.

Learn how here:   Stop divorce and save your marriage starting today!

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Article by R.P. Smith

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