What is the secret to a long lasting and healthy marriage? Is there a “blue print” for marriage self help that can dramatically improve your chances for success? We’ve all read the negative aspects of getting married and the high divorce rate. What if you could regularly practice a set of guiding principles that would almost guarantee that you and your partner would stay together? In fact, they could save your marriage. That’s what this article is all about.
1. Think Before You Speak – For a lot of people, the first thought that comes to their mind is not the best choice of words. If you are talking with your spouse, especially about an important or sensitive matter, consider if what you are saying is critical or hurtful. If it is, don’t say it.
2. Easy Does It – If a conflict arises, don’t escalate it by making critical or overly defensive statements. You can discuss things without finding fault or placing blame.
3. Yes Dear – This one is for the husband. Research has shown that women are already proficient at letting men have some say in things and the happiest marriages come when the husband practices this as well. This doesn’t mean caving in to everything and being a doormat. It simply means being willing to strike an equal balance in the power structure.
4. Expect The Best – Most likely during your courtship, you were both on your best behavior. Continue to respect your partner by treating them this way even after you are married and expect the same from them.
5. Get In Get Out – When a discussion becomes heated, it is important to know how to gracefully exit the discussion before it escalates any further. This may include changing the subject in a polite way, taking a break and agreeing to discuss the problem again later, or in some cases, just agree to disagree. It depends on how important the discussion really is.
6. Silver Lining – Look for the best in everything. Not just in your relationship but in your life. The more you see the positive side of your life together, the less you will dwell on the things you don’t like. Being positive throughout is key when trying to save your marriage.
7. Know When It’s Time – If problems in the marriage do begin to present themselves, the sooner you do something about it, the better your chances of resolving it before you reach crisis mode. Delaying will not fix the problems!
You should practice marriage self help with your partner for best results. But if your partner is unwilling to commit to these guidelines, practice them yourself anyway. Your marriage will still see benefits, even if your spouse isn’t helping the cause you can still save your marriage.
It takes a little bit of courage and commitment, but if you’re ready, then take the next step, whether your spouse is ready or not.