When a marriage starts to experience serious trouble, it’s easy to become overwhelmed with the whole process of trying to save it. At times, it’s as if you are at each others throats so to speak on an everyday, every conversation basis. So much that it seems as if any communication just turns into another heated argument in which nothing is resolved or has just made things a whole lot worse. If you’re having trouble, may I suggest this little idea of letting go? Let me explain.
Now, it’s probably safe to assume that things haven’t always been like this. There was a time when you both loved and cherished each other unconditionally. But, over the years much like any marriage things begin to change. You’ve had your fair share of ups and downs with one another. And, together you have weathered many storms and have gotten through it, for the most part just fine. Along this journey, I imagine or presume that many memories have been built and to some degree there is a level of blame that you both share for one event or the other.
While it’s important for you or your spouse to own up to your mistakes and take responsibility for them as time goes on, it serves neither one of your best interests to be constantly reminded of it. Holding on to it and using it against your spouse every chance you get will not do your marriage any good. In fact, it can constantly or repeatedly damage it. So for the sake of saving your marriage, try your best not to bring up blame throughout the process of saving your marriage the best you can. I know it’s hard at times, especially when trying to justify some of the things you have done directly related to what they have done, but do your best to remember it only makes the situation that much more difficult.
Now, the next part of letting go may go against everything you believe at the moment, but it really works. That is love your spouse enough to let them go. I know it fits into the old cliche of “if you love something, let it go and it will return if it’s meant to be”. But, that’s not the case exactly or the meat and potatoes of it so to speak. What it means is, give them some room right now. Don’t be so attached or needy of them or at their throat. Believe it or not, you’re spouse is just as confused and emotionally drained as you and could use the extra space to sort things out. What you don’t want to do is push them away further, by not giving them this time and space.
Believe it or not, letting go can be a powerful concept when it comes to saving a troubled marriage. It helps set up a foundation in which the marriage can be rebuilt, guilt and blame free. It’s part of setting up a troubled marriage moving forward for lasting success.