Staying happily married in today’s society is as tough as ever. The divorce rate continues to be around 50%, and the tough economic times and social pressures facing married couples can take a toll on the relationship. Regardless of what specific issues you are facing, If you have recently found yourself in a situation where it appears that your marriage is on the rocks, there are some mistakes that you will need to avoid if you want to save your marriage.
I speak from experience as I lay out these mistakes for you. A few years ago I was facing a situation that may sound very familiar to you. My wife informed me that our marriage was over and that she wanted me to move out. Although we had not enjoyed anything like a perfect marriage and there were definitely problems, divorce was not something that I really considered as an option. Needless to say I was shocked and devastated. Caught completely off-guard, I made a series of mistakes that actually made things worse. Please avoid these at all costs:
- Do NOT beg and plead with your spouse to re-consider. This will not work. It sounds desperate and surrenders all power to your spouse. Believe me, you’ve got more power in this situation than you might think. Don’t give it away!
- Do NOT make promises that you will change, if only given one more chance. This reeks of desperation and also sounds like more of the same. They’ve heard it all before, or at least, this is what they are thinking as they listen to you.
- Do NOT try and make your spouse feel guilty about the effect of the separation on the children. Using any type of guilt is rarely an effective strategy.
- Do NOT agree to move out of your house if your name is on the mortgage. You are under no legal obligation to leave. If you leave you will probably never get back in.
As I mentioned earlier, these were mistakes that I made while trying to avoid divorce and they nearly cost me the marriage. Fortunately, I later learned that this approach was all wrong and that to turn things around in my marriage, there was very specific action that I needed to take. Once I discovered this valuable information, everything changed for me and my marriage. It has worked for couples who thought their marriages were over, and it can work for you too.