R.P. Smith

How To Save Marriage From Divorce

by R.P. Smith on March 26, 2011

You may have found yourself in the precarious position of asking “how to save marriage from divorce”. What happens usually, is you begin searching for answers and may have even asked friends and family the same question. This can become very frustrating, when everyone’s answers seem to contradict each other or none of them really make sense. Some may just be down right outlandish or seem silly that they could even have any positive impact on your marriage.

What happens next, is you can become very frustrated and confused. At the same time, a new found sense of panic starts to take over. Because, although you’ve searched and asked how to save marriage from divorce, you’re still in the same spot you started, maybe even more confused then you were before. This can also stir a sense of hopelessness now, since you feel like all the available resources you have tapped have gotten you nowhere.

But, don’t give up just yet. Just because you’ve ran through your shortlist for advice on how to save a marriage from divorce doesn’t mean there’s little hope left. You just haven’t tapped or came across the right advice yet, and I’d like to change that for you.

One of the first things you should do is work on getting yourself back under control emotionally. You’re going through a lot of emotions right now, and they can play havoc on your decision making and action taking if you leave them unchecked. The worst thing you can do is let these emotions dictate how you act and what you say. Some of the most damage we can do to our marriage is done during this time. When you act out of anger, panic, frustration, desperation, confusion etc. it will more than likely lead to you doing things that you’ll later regret or wish you could take back, but it will be do late.

The next thing you should do, and this kind of falls in the same boat with controlling your emotions. That is, don’t crowd your spouse right now or be constantly in their face about how to save your marriage from divorce. I know you want to find out everything you can do to fix things, and it may even seem crazy not to be on your spouses back for answers as to what you can do to make things right or better. But, this actually works against you. You’ll continue to push your spouse away if you don’t give them the space they need to think this through. Sometimes just giving your spouse this space will make a world of difference. It will allow them some time and space free of your being in their ear, constantly reminding them of why the marriage isn’t going to work. What you don’t want, is your constant nagging or being at their throat about how to save this marriage from divorce to now be the reason they want to leave, overshadowing the real marriage issues.

Now that you understand how your emotions and how constantly being in your spouses ear can affect your efforts to save your marriage from divorce, it’s time to consider taking action in the right direction.

There are many options you could consider. Some may work better than others or not at all. For instance, it would kind of be a waste of time to consider counseling for your marriage if your spouse refuses to go. But, if you’re spouse is willing to go, how do you know if it will even work? Especially since no one counselor is created equal and there’s no real universal plan to save a marriage from divorce that they all use. Picking or using a marriage counselor is a little risky. For one, their single session fee’s aren’t exactly cheap, and it may take several sessions for you to realize that it isn’t helping at all. This in itself can add new strain on the marriage, as now you’re faced with not only the same problems you had before, but have gained some financial burden in the process. This can lead to your spouse wanting to skip it altogether.

So, what can you do? There are other ways of learning how to save marriage from divorce that won’t cause you any more stress or burdens. They can even help if only one of you is trying to save the marriage while the other spouse has given up or just flat out said there’s no chance of staying together. You may have never heard about them, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Not to mention, far more effective then any type of counseling or marriage workshops. It’s very important, especially with a limited time frame when facing a potential divorce, that you go with a plan that’s been proven to work. You can learn more about it here: How To Save Marriage From Divorce

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